Beat the Blerch Half Marathon 2017 Race Report

What would a September be without Beat the Blerch?? It was our fourth running of this really fun race, and it’s always a great way to cap off a racing season. Of course, my biggest race of the season is next week (exciting/terrifying), but nevermind that.

If you’re already saying, “Lady, you’ve lost me. What is Beat the Blerch?” It’s a silly and fun race (with 10K, half marathon, and full marathon distances) that was dreamt up by The Oatmeal. He wrote a multi-page web comic that explains what a Blerch is, and there are many things in the race that are a direct reference to the comic. I also thoroughly enjoy their tag line of: “Let there be agony. Let there be cake.” 😀

I look forward to this race every year, and I naively thought my taper had begun and I’d be able to take it easy. When I cracked open my Training Peaks last week, I saw my coach had written “Please run this half hard.” What? But…but… cake and couches at the aid stations! :-/ To be fair, I can enjoy cake and a couch at any time, and coach knows best because she’s awesome, so… running hard was the order of the day!

Adam was there, of course, running casually, and our friend Jessica was there to run her first half!

It was a chilly morning, but perfect running weather. While we waited at the start, a Blerch was chucking marshmallows at the crowd, much to everyone’s amusement. One guy even caught one in his mouth from a distance of at least 20 feet, so gold star for him.

The start of the race was the expected herd of people attempting to find their own pace. The race starts out on paved path, but quickly switches to larger gravel. Not the easiest on the feet, but it’s short-lived. After just over a mile, over a concrete bridge and then onto the Snoqualmie Valley Trail. This course is a very straightforward out and back, and while very nice, there’s not much to share in regards to scenery or challenging trail.

The 3 mile aid station came up quickly, but I had no need to stop. I had a handheld water bottle, and a few Glutinos – all I needed for a race this short! There were a few people around me that I kept yo-yo-ing with, but otherwise it was an unremarkable first half.

At the turnaround (after the mile 6 aid station), there was a person in a… kangaroo? costume giving high fives. I will say an entertaining part of this race is the number of costumes on the course. A yeti was hiding in the bushes at one point. I also saw someone running in a blow-up sumo suit, with a pigeon head mask (which turned out to be The Oatmeal himself, lol.)

Not too long after the turnaround, I saw Adam! He reached out to give me a high-five, but I awkwardly had a half-eaten Glutino cookie in hand, so we air-fived instead. 🙂 A little bit later I saw Jessica and was able to actually high-five her! After a fairly quiet first half, it was energizing to see all of the people running and enjoy the vibe.

After the 10 mile aid station, we encountered all of the 10Kers, and boy, there were a lot of them. The previously wide open trail became an obstacle course consisting of runners/walkers of varying speeds. People dodging isn’t my favorite, but everyone is out there to have a good time, so it’d be stupid to get annoyed at such a little thing.

One thing I had forgotten about for this race is the second half is slightly downhill, and it’s fantastic. I was able to keep a slightly quicker pace without having to up the effort, which was excellent. My unofficial goal was to run sub-2 hours, and I hoped to beat my half marathon PR (1:58:08), which I thought was doable. My coach has had me running tempo 5K and 10Ks lately, and while sometimes it’s a bit of a grind, I can tell you they totally paid off!

With two miles to go, I knew I’d beat my time, and since I was close, I decided to push it. Again, lots of people dodging, but I was able to come in at 1:50:35! I’m no Paula Radcliffe, but for a back-of-the-packer ultramarathoner like me, I am very happy with my new PR.

Adam and Jessica both finished strong, and congrats to Jessica for completing her first half marathon! I wonder if I can con her talk her into trying out longer trail runs… hm… 🙂